regret |rəˈɡret|

verb (regrets, regretting, regretted) feel sad, repentant, or disappointed over (something that has happened or been done, especially a loss or missed opportunity)

Certainly grief is the deepest emotion I thought. It cannot be described. It is like pain but it has no physical origin. If there was, perhaps it could be surgically removed, cut out for a minute of relief. But no, we have to live with it and there is no relief. One would think it is the absolute worst emotion to bear. In fact, it’s not. Regret is worse.

Through the practice of yoga and meditation we are taught to be present. Anything in the past is in our head, in our imagination. The fret and worry about the future is in our head in our imagination. The only thing that is real is now. The present.

What about the what if’s? Why didn’t I? The repetition. Over and over and over again. The missed hug, the missed text, the missed conversation. Why didn’t I call, why didn’t I seek alternative options, why did I listen to those who I thought were experts, why did I not listen to my own intuition. What if I handcuffed Jack to a tree on a mountain, what if I strapped him to my back and took him to a shaman in Brazil, what if I searched for the reason for this drug abuse. I am doing it now, what if I did it then.

Regret is crippling.

There are groups that meet to share grief experiences. There are books that help to navigate the dark and murky waters of grief. Every one at sometime will experience grief in some form.

Regret can be avoided.

Be present! Yes! Every moment is an opportunity to share a kind word. Each moment is an opportunity to tell your family and friends how much you appreciate them, how much you love them. How about the added comment of how beautiful you look, how I love how your eyes shine, how your smile lights me up. I appreciate all the help you give me, I adore how clever you are. I love everything about you.

How about putting down your phone and holding a hand instead, eye gazing directly as someone shares a story. Truly listening without distraction.

Do not! waste a moment to another distraction. Be present for all those in your life, appreciate your relationships, appreciate and acknowledge all experiences, notice your breath, be grateful for all you have right now.

If you don’t, you will regret it.