My name is Barbara Conroy. I am a 59 (well I am today) year old mother of five. Sadly, two of my children have left this earth. The pain of the loss most times is unbearable. My desire to develop this website and blog is to create a safe space to start a conversation with whomever would like to. Grief is lonely; it can consume all thoughts and actions for days, weeks, months and years. It tears apart relationships with yourself and others. I feel like I am a professional griever. It has been twenty five years since my two month old infant son, Harry passed. The anniversary of his death was days ago. My twenty one year old, son, Jack passed two years ago, April 1, 2015. I have been grieving for most of my adult life.
My husband and I were divorced two years ago, and that was completely traumatic as well, I’m grieving this too.
So, I compiled my thoughts into a manuscript and decided to publish. Well, I didn’t decide, it was a direction from my son, Jack. “Publish it Mom, I heard, don’t leave anything out, and don’t sugar coat it.”
Well, that’s what I did. I wrote it down with the hope that my story of love, grief, addiction, healing will meet someone exactly when and where they need it.
I will continue seeking resources, success stories, healing and spiritual tools to offer as an aide. I didn’t have a lot of resources. Addiction was frightening to me. I did what I was told by who I thought were the experts on the subject. I didn’t question or challenge the approach to my son’s problem. I am living with that regret everyday.
So, I am going to do the work to help someone else. I’m late. So I need to work fast and not give up. I wish I had an army, but I don’t. We can do it together. Make a change, DEMAND a change in the way we treat those addicted. It’s not their fault. It’s our fault if we don’t do something. Discover alternative healings, support individualized treatments and remove the stigma of addiction.
The anguish of loosing a child can not be described. If I didn’t have other kids I’d be gone, for sure. So while I am here, I’m going to do something about this. I’m pissed and I can be a force. Join me. Email me. I will get new information to you. Don’t give up. Do everything to protect the ones you love. Kick them out, starve them of money and shelter. What mother would think that was the approach for a child she loves? If you think living with an addict is bad, living with inconsolable grief can not be described.
Let’s start this conversation. If you are in the throws of active addiction, know it does not end well without a new direction. You can find it here.
If you have a loved one in addiction I KNOW how crazy it can be. The lies, the manipulation, the stealing, it is all part of the disease. I KNOW!
I am getting my site up and interactive. I’ll be posting new clinics, techniques, articles, books, contacts and whatever else I can dig up. This is my dharma, my purpose and I am going for it, until it changes. Then when I am done here and I go “home,” you will find me on the line at the complaints department.