Stand in your truth   “She invited me, when Jack was struggling, to a prayer breakfast in Norwalk.  The speaker was a man named Gary Mendell.  He began the organization Shatterproof after his son died, gripped by addiction, after he was one year clean.  I listened and ate breakfast, but didn’t grasp that this was where Jack was headed.  I should have been more attentive.”   Dear Jack, a love letter I was kindly asked to write a blog for Shatterproof, I jumped at the chance.  After completing Jack and my book, Dear Jack, a love letter I was thinking, what
Read More

What the F@#!K While writing my book Dear Jack, a love letter, I used my own style of writing, which is the way I speak. There is no fan fare, my vocabulary is average, my descriptions are perhaps not as flowery and refined as an experienced writer/author. So, I just wrote like me, problem is I swear a lot! When my editor read her first pass, it was obvious she didn’t think it was necessary to swear throughout the book in every chapter, sometimes in every paragraph. I have come to a place where I have no filter. I say
Read More

“April 1, 2015. It was a day like any other. Standing at my kitchen counter, I was making my coffee, breakfast underway for Grace. “Five more minutes,” she said. She always wants five more minutes to sleep.” “The phone rings. I hate the phone, it scares me.” Dear Jack, a love letter. April 1, 2018. This is a day like any other. Three years since Jack’s death and everyday feels the same. Waking up to the thought that I have lost my son. All my fears have been realized, now I’m not afraid of anything. My regret and grief is part
Read More

  “With Kali energy, I lifted Jack into the front seat. That’s what it had to be. Jack was two hundred and twenty pounds, and I lifted him into the car. He was so messed up. He couldn’t walk. I didn’t know what to do. I was distraught. I drove him home.” Dear Jack, a love letter. Depicted in statue and illustration, Kali is dark blue or black. She is a fierce force of nature. She holds the bloody head of a demon in one hand while the other holds her knife. She is stepping on Shiva lying in a
Read More

regret |rəˈɡret| verb (regrets, regretting, regretted) feel sad, repentant, or disappointed over (something that has happened or been done, especially a loss or missed opportunity) Certainly grief is the deepest emotion I thought. It cannot be described. It is like pain but it has no physical origin. If there was, perhaps it could be surgically removed, cut out for a minute of relief. But no, we have to live with it and there is no relief. One would think it is the absolute worst emotion to bear. In fact, it’s not. Regret is worse. Through the practice of yoga and meditation
Read More

“And when we go back to the sea, whether it is to sail or to watch – we are going back from whence we came.” John F. Kennedy I know for certain that I need to be in the presence of water. I have lived by the water where I raised my family across the street from the Long Island Sound for thirty years. I now live on Martha’s Vineyard, an island surrounded by water. Ocean, sounds, rivers, streams and ponds the presence of water is everywhere. Water is calming, it helps ground me. Walking on the beach toes in
Read More

I’ve Got Your Back I have found myself in areas so foreign to me. I decided to chronicle my and Jack’s life in a book, Dear Jack, that releases hopefully, April 1.  April 1 is significant as it will be three years since my twenty one year old son, Jack, died from an overdose. Our lives hurled into grief and desperation. Unfortunately, this is not unfamiliar. The publishing industry is foreign to me, rights, copyrights, optioning the book, all of this terminology that I never used. I would have been happy to take this manuscript and keep it to myself.
Read More

Alone we are a drop, together an ocean. Ryunosuke Satoro There is so much to stand up for, to fight for. It is different for all of us.   What is it that will push us from our comfort zone, to rise up and make a difference? The causes go on and on. Fighting for health reform, rising up against addiction and its stigma, fighting for gun control, standing up against bullying, the good fight against global warming, no GMOs, equality in the work place, #nomore #metoo. Well, alone we are only one drop. But every drop counts! How do we unite
Read More

Emotion is energy in motion. Moving energy through us, removing blocks can happen through ancient practices and traditions, but there are many ways. I used a very helpful practice called Intuitive Painting. My experience was with a facilitator who guided our group deeper into ourselves through the colors and shapes we chose to paint. I’m not a painter. It is not painting a picture, but painting feelings. Using fat brushes, thin brushes and my favorite, an old credit card to move paint around the page. The thick paper holds a lot of paint. The painter can layer and layer feelings
Read More

Cry Baby I have spent years working with counselors to sort out mine and my families challenges. I never felt like I had any problems or needed this but I went anyway. Talk, talk talk, blah blah blah. One hour 250.00, week after week, month after month, year after year. What did I get from it, Nothing. Talk therapy for me didn’t work. It didn’t work for my family either. Continuing from my post last week, We are all recovering from something, I talked about the work required to heal ourselves from the inside out. Stagnant, (defined as having no
Read More